It often happens during some time off. Vacations and holidays are great moments to get wild new ideas and resolutions! How to turn each into a guaranteed failure 🤣
It is a time with heightened potential for change! You’re really going to do it now: starting your own business. Creating that invention. Exercising more. Learning to play an instrument. Your motivation and (self) confidence knows no bounds!
Now what? How are you going to handle that? How are you going to keep that up? How are you going to fit that into the rest of your life?
Unfortunately I can’t give you a ready-made step-by-step plan.
What I can give you are some tips that are guaranteed to make you fail. 😉
These really work, ask me how I know…
Only do things that have never been done before
Be completely original. If someone else has already done something similar, you can stop right now. Also only do things that you yourself have never done before. Don’t do anything with the knowledge and experience you or others already have. After all, only in this way can you add something to the world. So start with a fresh new page, lock yourself up and only dream up original thoughts. That is the only way to succeed. Everything else will result in failure.
Absorb everything even slightly relevant to your subject before you start
If you decide to skip the first tip, you must do your research. Go down every rabbit hole you come across. Watch any YouTube video that is half-relevant to what you want to do. Read all blogs. Go ahead and subscribe to any and all email lists.
The internet is there for a reason. Before you even take a first step, it is absolutely important that you take in all the information and opinions available.
Only then is it time to bring something into the world yourself. Only then can you make a fresh start and make progress. Only then will you have a crystal-clear plan so that you know exactly what to expect and you will not be faced with any surprises or failure.
Perfection or bust
It is imperative that you strive for nothing but pure perfection.
If what you’re doing isn’t perfect, there’s no point in doing it. So, no typos in your texts. Every training a new personal best. No more candy, cookies, crisps or alcohol. Avoiding anything that isn’t 100% perfect is the only way to progress.
If it’s not perfect, it’s a failure.
Let guilt and shame be your guiding lights
Listen carefully to that little voice in your head that explains in great detail that this is not going to work. That little voice that reminds you of what you’ve messed up in the past. That voice that tells you that you are a failure of epic proportions.
Sit down and make a list of all those other “failed” initiatives you took:
- that blog you started but didn’t continue
- that running schedule that you didn’t finish
- that business you wanted to start, but didn’t
- Take in all those past attempts, let those sink in for a while, and feel the motivation drain. Failure assured.
Go for big, bigger, biggest
Whatever you want to do or achieve, make it as grand as possible. Take it to heights the world has never seen. Be overly ambitious and only start when you are fully committed to that idea.
After all, such a big undertaking, such a huge goal requires your full attention and so there is no room for relationships, hobbies, work or other distractions. Become a hermit to prevent complete failure.
Success and change is only possible if you go for the highest achievable outcome. Small steps are for children and losers, not for you!
Continually compare yourself to others
Who are your heroes? Which influencer, entrepreneur, athlete or guru inspires you? Find (at least) 3 people who have achieved something truly amazing and compare all aspects of your real life with the updates on their Instagram accounts.
Only if you can build a reusable rocket, run 100 meters in less than 10 seconds and have more than 100 million followers on YouTube, you might just be good enough to try something.
If not, you are a failure.
Do not celebrate progress and achievements
Avoid any positive emotion about the progress you are making. Once you allow that sense of pride or satisfaction, your motivation is over. You will become lazy, settle for small steps and imperfect results. In other words: Failure.
Again, it is important that you listen to that little voice in your head that says that it could have been done better and that any reward in whatever form is still a long way off. You are not supposed to enjoy what you do. This is hard work!
You are not supposed to look forward to the next step. You are not meant to keep this up for long.
Follow these steps to make sure you fail. Print them out, frame them and hang them on the wall. That way you can prevent ever realizing that creative idea you have. Avoid taking any challenging first steps. Avoid achieving your ambitious goals.
Better to never start, if there is a change of failure 😉 It is the only way to stay in that zone called comfort. You’re welcome 😉