Promoting yourself without shame

This one is personal, plain and simple. Very few challenges on my self-employment journey are to persistent and tough as self promotion. But, there is hope for us!

As someone who struggles with self-promotion, I’ve looked at various approaches, particularly online. I’ve identified three main types of promotion, only one of which helps calm my anxiety and makes me proud to promote my work.

1: The show off (yuk)

Like many, I cringe at the sight of someone flaunting their success in a fake private jet or on a beach with a cocktail, shouting, “Here’s how I make 100k/mo working an hour a day.” My mother’s wise words echo in my mind: “If something looks too good to be true, it probably is.”

And even more modest claims, focus on selling an illusion of massive gains with little to no effort. Hard pass, no thank you.

2: The beg-and-plead (meh)

Besides the exaggerated claims, I found a second tactic. Its one where creators beg and plead for attention, and I find it equally discomforting as the first tactic.

Hours invested by the creator, are paraded as a indicator to the quality of their product or service. The focus has shifted from helping others to extracting money as a result of pity or empathy.

I get where it comes from; a lot of time and energy can go into making a product or service. But time spent does not equate to a quality product or service. Nor does it say anything about how well it will help customers or clients.

3: Service to others (we have a winner!)

So, what then is the authentic way to navigate the delicate dance of self-promotion? It is a “service-to-others” mindset – a genuine desire to help others on their unique paths. This approach, in my experience, is the most honest, transparent, and authentic way to promote oneself.

I want to embody that mindset as much as I can, not only because I see it working so well for those I work with. But also because it means I find it meaningful to do, and I can look myself in the mirror everyday. Sure, I am no magician, and I make mistakes, but this mindset creates an intention to do well for others every day.

My professional journey currently centers around coaching, consulting, and training. I’ve discovered my power to focus on the needs and aspirations of those I help.

Let’s break down how this service-to-others mindset shows up in the realms of coaching, consulting, and training. That way, I hope it can inspire you to look for ways to embrace it in your journey.

Whether you are an accountant or an artist, “service-to-others” is universally applicable.

Training for Unity:

Training, in my practice, involves working with groups to enhance their collaborative abilities, primarily through improved communication and behavior. It’s not about boasting extravagant promises but about empowering individuals to work together better . The emphasis is on the collective growth of the team, creating an environment where everyone feels heard and valued.

Here the “service to others” mindset, helps to create a safe place for cooperation, vulnerability and achievement.

Consulting as a Partnership:

Consulting, for me, is like a partnership. It’s about being a sparring partner, a worthy adversary if you will. But one that serves your goals, wants and needs. We engage in thoughtful conversations , and jointly find ways to set goals and direction in whatever you want to adress. Oftentimes this is in the context of building business, but it can also be about finding ways to express yourself. Channel your creativity or finding a balance between all your roles and responsibilities.

Rather than touting miraculous solutions, it’s about collaboration. The focus always remains on the journey of my clients. But we do it together, so that they know they’re not going at it alone.

Coaching with Empathy:

Coaching, perhaps the most intimate of the three, revolves around the ability to hold space for those seeking guidance. In a world where the art of listening seems lost, coaching brings it back to the forefront.

Just a few days ago, Elmo (yes the one from Sesame Street) tweeted “How is everybody doing?” and received tens of thousands of responses. Reading some of those, it is apparent that there is a huge need for people to be truly heard, listened to, connected with.

By listening well, being present, and asking thought-provoking questions, I help people find their way in challenging situations. We look for new perspectives, solutions, and balance. It’s about acknowledging the need for people to be heard and validated, guiding them through challenges, and empowering them to grow.

Notice the common thread through all these facets – an unwavering focus on those I aim to assist. There are no exaggerated promises, no guarantees of outcomes that seem too good to be true. Instead, the approach centers on understanding the unique needs of individuals and offering meaningful support tailored to their journeys.

In embracing this service-to-others mindset, self-promotion is a lot easier to do, because it becomes an opportunity to contribute positively to the lives of others.

It’s a journey where authenticity reigns, where success is measured not in flashy displays but in the genuine impact made on the lives of those served.

So, the next time you find yourself hesitant about self-promotion, remember: it’s not about you; it’s about the people you can serve, inspire, and help grow.

In doing so, you not only elevate yourself but also contribute to a community of self-starters who value meaningful work and authentic connections.

Whether it is your work or not, I hope you find ways to embrace this mindset. You get what you give.

I’m rooting for you! 🙌